Navigating the Holidays
For many of us, the holiday season is synonymous with family reunions, goofy (or sometimes beautiful) festive decorations, and a general sense of merriment. However, for those managing mental health challenges, this time can also bring a unique set of challenges. Between the rush of preparations, the dynamics of familial relationships, and the pressure to create perfect (or train-wreck-free memories, it’s easy for stress and anxiety to escalate. Recognizing and preparing for the emotional challenges of holiday family gatherings is crucial for maintaining mental well-being during these times.
Navigating Triggers and Stress
Holiday gatherings can reopen old wounds or create new pressure points. Knowing what situations may trigger stress or anxiety is vital. For some, it might be conversations about personal life choices or achievements, for others it may be dealing with the loss of loved ones whose absence is felt more deeply during the holidays.
Strategies for Getting Through the Holidays
Here are practical tips supported by mental health literature that can help you maintain your well-being during the holiday hustle:
Be Prepared and Plan Ahead
Research suggests that having a plan can reduce anxiety. Before attending a family event, consider the scenarios that may cause stress and prepare your responses or coping strategies in advance. Set realistic expectations for yourself. It is okay to spend most of your time talking to that one family member you really enjoy being around. If it feels completely overwhelming to go, consider not attending particular events. You get to decide which ones to go to. Write your plan or rehearse with a friend if you feel you need to articulate yourself or want some practice before the gathering(s). What is one thing you would like to prepare for this Christmas when it comes to seeing family? How can you begin to do that today?
Set Boundaries
This might mean deciding in advance how much time you’ll spend at events or limiting discussions on topics that you find distressing. A boundary is a line in the sand. It’s where you say “I will go this far and no further”. Decide how long you want to attend and what you might feel prepared to discuss. If possible, communicate this to the host beforehand so you are not confronted as you make your way out of the door. What is one boundary you can use this Christmas?
Schedule ‘Me’ Time
With the onslaught of social engagements, it’s important to reserve time for solitude or activities that relax you. Whether it’s a morning run, breathing, or simply reading a book, honoring this personal time can help reduce feelings of being overwhelmed. Our nervous system can be overwhelmed by social stimuli and may need a break during the many holiday gathering you might have. What is one restful activity that you enjoy? Can you plan it around Christmas gatherings?
Stay Active
Exercise is not only good for physical health but is proven to process stress. Even a daily walk can act as a significant stress reliever. If it’s too cold, consider the Norwegian saying “Det finnes ikke dårlig vær, bare dårlig klær!” which means “there is no bad weather only bad clothes”. It’s a common saying in Norway, highlighting the value of preparedness and adaptability when facing different weather situations. It relates back to preparedness and planning mentioned above. Maybe you can go for a walk and look at the Christmas lights in your neighbourhood (if there are any). What is one active activity you can do around Christmas?
Sleep Hygiene
Poor sleep is both a cause and effect of stress. Scholars agree that maintaining a regular sleep schedule is crucial for psychological and emotional resilience. Set a schedule so your body can adapt, follow a nightly routine that limits screens (tv, computer, phone) an hour before bed, and try to get a little exercise and sunlight exposure during the day. When have you had 7-9 hours of sleep? What did you do to get there? How did you feel afterwards?
Mindful Consumption
It’s common to indulge over the holidays, but excessive alcohol or unhealthy foods can exacerbate anxiety and low moods. Nutrition research has linked a balanced diet to better emotional well-being. Just think of how you feel after a big meal. Do you want to go for a run now or take a nap? Combining a big meal with challenging personalities and conversations can be a recipe for responses that come from exhaustion and frustration. What boundary can you apply to food during Christmas gatherings?
Engage in Positive Activities
Creating new, joyful traditions or participating in activities that uplift your spirit can create a buffer against stress. This positive engagement is an effective strategy endorsed by positive psychology practitioners. Think of the fun things you did during the holidays growing up. Are there any that you have stopped but want to start up again? What’s the smallest one you can start with?
Reach Out for Support
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember it’s okay to seek help. It comes up every year during the holidays. Please do not be afraid to reach out for support. If you feel you are in crisis CMHA has a toll free line: 1-833-456-4566. If you are feeling particularly good during the holidays, consider reaching out to someone who is not. A listening ear goes a long way.
Prioritize Self-care
Self-care is an act of preserving one’s mental health and well-being. Integrate self-care rituals into your daily routine to foster resilience against holiday stressors. This is tough if you feel that you need to only care for others or that you should not spend time on yourself. If you think either of these things, you have permission to care for yourself. It will make you far better at caring for others in the long run.
Notice that these suggestions have to do with you. Not your crazy uncle or your weird cousin. You cannot change other people, try as you might. They will come to your Christmas gathering with their own concerns and their own expectations of what they would like to talk about. You will come with yours. The tools above can help you navigate those situations.
I hope these considerations help you not only confront the challenges of holiday family gatherings but also find space for joy and peace this Christmas season. And who knows, you may even enjoy yourself.
Written by:
Joshua Kuehnel, BA (HONS), MTS, MACP (S), RP-Q
Associate of Tina J. Smith & Associates Counselling & Psychotherapy
Related Posts
Successfully Resolving Our New Year’s Resolutions
Happy New Year! For many people, including myself, the start of a new year...
Navigating the Holidays
Recognizing and preparing for the emotional challenges of holiday family...
New Treatment Center Established in Heart of Oxford County!
In January 2022, Tina founded the Selah Treatment Center, a not-for-profit...